Amazingly Authentic

You know what’s not authentic anymore? The word authentic. It’s kind of like the word amazing. When I was young, amazing was a word limited to big, well… amazing things… like unusual and awesome things. Like that new machine that took those shiny discs and let you play music and actually skip to the song that you wanted, and better yet, play it on REPEAT, instead of busting out your finger holding the rewind button down, repeatedly, with your cassette player. That shit was AMAZING.

photo credit:  Dmitri & Sandra

photo credit: Dmitri & Sandra

Amazing wasn’t a word that was used every day. So when someone said it… it had IMPACT.

Today I called my kids amazing, which they are! But I also called my taco amazing… so… you see the issue, yes? Overuse leads to dilution which leads to things losing their true meaning.

I’ve been working quietly on my copy for my business for a while with Rosewater Studio, and I keep running into an issue. All of the words that truly describe me (real, honest, authentic, original) are ALL OVER THE WEB. Everyone is using them. Which makes them white noise. Which makes describing yourself when you actually ARE real, honest and authentic… well… a bitch (also something that could be used to describe me depending on your perception of strong, intelligent, successful women)

Here’s the thing though. Being authentic? Like truly authentic? It’s not really fun. It’s risky. It means you honor who you are and what you’re feeling in the moment, regardless of what others thoughts or feelings are about the subject. You are who you are, before you determine if it’s cool or socially acceptable to be that way. You are who you are, even when being who you are makes others uncomfortable. And something I’m experiencing quite a lot lately, is lots of people saying “be authentic” and “be you” and then they kind of shit themselves when you are. And it’s kind of like… would you like some fries with that irony?

Photo Cred:  Dmitri & Sandra

Photo Cred: Dmitri & Sandra

So I’m trying to figure out what words I can use to describe myself, that will hold their meaning and truly describe me so that potential clients can see… hey… she’s the real deal… I’ve gotta hire her right now!

And do you know what I realized?

I don’t think my job is to find words with the right meaning. I think my job is to put the proper meaning back into those words.

Hi. I’m Trish. I’m authentic, real and honest. So are my photos. I care more about who you are than what you say. I care more about what you do with what you have, than how much you have. I care more about the joy and respect you put into your job, than what you actually do for a living. I care more about how you treat people, than how many followers you have on Instagram. I prefer truth over flattery, even if it might hurt my feelings. I prefer truth over EVERYTHING actually. I deliver emotive photos. I like a little bit of real in there too, so I don’t mind if your kid picks his nose or you wear puddle boots with your wedding dress (I’d prefer that, actually). I’m interested in who you really are and in capturing that true you on film. I want to show you your beauty, and the beauty of the life and love that surrounds you, as imperfect as it can be. And I’m about to put the real back in the word real. And actually, upon reflection, I guess I’ve been doing that all along.

And that’s pretty amazing…

New Fine Art Photography Print and Gift Store Launched!

So one of the things that I've been searching for is a way to sell art online in a way that is more effective and satisfying for the buyer.  I like options, and I like to give other people options as well.  I'm also a super visual person and have a really hard time committing to purchasing something without having a context for it and seeing what it will look like (which is why I order clothes online and am then pissed when I get them and they don't look like they did... on the size 2 model...  with the perfect rack... duh)

Well, I am happy to report that I've found solutions to 2 of those challenges!  Not the I don't have a size 2 figure challenge... but I've added all kinds of media types, finishing and framing options as well as have added a tool to make the visualizing process process easy (and super satisfying).  

I've just launched Trish Barker Fine Art and you've got to check it out!  Now offering print sizes from teeny tiny to super giant (my person favorite), canvas gallery wrap options that are totally customizable to your taste and tons of framing and matting options!  And you can use the "Wall Preview" tool to see if your sizing works! (if you have questions about what size art you should hang in a given area, check out my blog post here for the simple formula!)

And be sure to sign up for our newsletter.  I promise I won't send mail often, but when I do, it'll have special offers you'll want to take advantage of!

I'm possible

I can't say that I knew it. But I can't say that I didn't either. I'm learning still. It was an experiment really. One where if I lost, I lost big. But if I won... well... I don't know that I fully thought that bit through. I'd never really gone that route before, I'd only gone the losing route. So I knew what happened that way. But I was open to finding out what it might look like to win. And apparently, I cracked that door just enough.

There were days where winning was the only option. I was so steeped in knowing. I was so confident. I was so un-moveable from my position. I'd maintained my strength and my positivity. I really worked at it to a point where it came quite easily.  But I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel a bit false at times. And I think that those times were gaining on me.

I continued to keep my chin up, and yet, the water level kept rising. And I kept telling myself that it would be okay. But I hit a point where the water was so high, my head tipped all the way back... my eyes and mouth submerged... only my nostrils left out. I couldn't cry, I couldn't scream. I could get just enough air if I stayed really still. And I was like... oh fuck... I guess I was wrong.

That's where I was... snorting water. I was just barely breathing anymore. My faith was shaken. I resigned myself to losing big. But right when I decided it made no sense to hold my chin up anymore, not only did the water level drop enough to breathe... it disappeared all together. And I was left there, standing, soaking wet, stunned, wondering what the fuck had just happened.

Had there ever even been any water to begin with? Did I imagine that? I was for sure drowning. And now, there is no water in sight? At first I couldn't stop laughing. And then, I couldn't stop crying. I wasn't sad, I wasn't happy. I was just... fucking emotional. There is something to having to hold it all together. There's being strong, and then there's acting strong. They both take a tremendous amount of energy. And I'd been doing an awful lot of both. All of the feelings that I'd not allowed myself to feel, the fear, facing my mortality, what my kids would have to go through on top of what they were already dealing with, all came flooding out of me. It was as though all of that water that I'd been drowning in, somehow was absorbed into my being and was cleansing me of everything that I'd been holding onto. It was awful and wonderful.

I am fucking dumbfounded in an I-fucking-knew-I-could-do-it kind of way. Does that make sense?

Earlier this year, shortly after my marriage and family fell painfully apart, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Last week I went for a full body scan intended to find any cancer that may have spread elsewhere.

Today I got the results of that scan. It shows no signs of cancer. Anywhere.

I worked with a holistic practitioner, I minded my diet and I kept my shit positive.

It always seems impossible until its done... isn't that the saying?

I am grateful beyond measure. And I am ready to FUCK.SHIT.UP. (in a good way of course)

Photo Credit: Undressed Moments

Photo Credit: Undressed Moments

Don't Judge a Book By Its Cover

Oh ya?  Well I totally fucking did.  This book is one of my favorite books on the planet, and yes, it is a kids book.  And yes, I bought it simply because of the cover.  


I don't like to read.  I'm more of a pictures girl (go figure), so I whole heartedly bought this for it's beauty only, without any regard for or idea about what was inside.  Shallow much Trish?

But it turns out that this book has sorta saved my life in a way.  And it's one that I reference with my kids, and myself, almost on the daily of late.  Mostly, the Farmer's Luck story.  Because my family has been hit by some "luck" the past 4 months and every time I feel like I can't take anymore, I just remember this story, and I'm able to genuinely settle into things knowing that it isn't good luck, it isn't bad luck, it simply is what it is and if you just go with it and release your judgement of it, everything will be okay (and you might even enjoy the process!).


The Farmer's Luck - John J Muth

There was once an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years.  One day his horse ran away.  Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit.

"Such bad luck," they said sympathetically.
"Maybe," the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it two other wild horses.

"Such good luck!" the neighbors exclaimed.
"Maybe," replied the farmer.

The following day his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown off, and broke his leg.  Again, the neighbors came to offer their sympathy for his misfortune.

"Such bad luck," they said.
"Maybe," answered the farmer.

The day after that, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army to fight in a war.  Seeing that the son's leg was broken, the passed him by.

"Such good luck!" cried the neighbors.
"Maybe," said the farmer.


So I guess the moral of this story is to not judge, like, at all.  That you never know what will happen next, and the universe is conspiring to support each of us, we just need to LET IT.

And the moral of my blog post is... ya, don't judge, like at all, but this one time, in band camp, I judged a literal book by it's literal cover and it ended up being the best fucking thing ever.

Click below to buy this book for your kids... or for you... or for a friend.  

Fine Art Calendars Sale - 10% Off through Wednesday

Well... it's almost March.  And I've been getting myself all kinds of organized over here (better late than never right!)  Want a calendar that makes you look forward to finding out what day it is?  I'm running a quick sale from now until Wednesday (February 28, 2018) on my fine art calendars.

Enter code: TEN  at checkout and get 10% off Fine Art Calendars.  Just 3 days to act.  Don't delay!

Visit my online store to take advantage of this limited time 10% off sale and to see what other goodies I have to offer...

Happy Self Love Day

They say "life begins at forty"... but they should probably have included the beginning of that quote which is, "Everything that you think is real will all fall apart in a horrible pile of excrement on the floor and then".  Because for anything to begin, something else has to end.  And for me, that meant my marriage.


For 20 years, I'd been in a relationship wherein my love for my person exceeded my love for myself.  And though that may have seemed like a good and selfless thing, and that's what I tried to convince myself for most of those years, it ended up being my undoing.  Turns out, without self love, compassion and understanding can really just be enabling of abuse.  

So, now that I've moved slightly past the "everything is shit. What the fuck just happened to my life?" phase of things, which I am incredibly grateful for, I'm getting clear on what things I need to work on in order to avoid continuing this pattern for myself, and even more importantly, to avoid passing this pattern on to my kids. And it's all about self love.  Which is so fucking cliche.  And you'd think because it was cliche that it would be obvious and easy.  But the truth of the matter is that self love has escaped me for 40 years.  So I need to sort out what it means to me.

One thing that I've learned in the past two months about what self love means to me is not compromising myself.  There have been many instances where others have tried to convince me to go against my better judgement.  I was told that being a good person means you finish last, and since others were fighting dirty and choosing a path of lies, that I should play the same game.  It can be very tempting to stray from the truth when it looks and feels like the truth gets you screwed.  But I did not stray.  I remained in truth and kept my integrity, even when I was being beat down by the system for doing so.  I can hold my head high about how I handled an extremely fucked up situation and my kids will always know that they can trust me to tell the truth and do the right thing.  That is more important to me than any perceived win in the immediate.  It was an extremely hard path to walk, and will likely continue to be so, but I am so grateful that I did not compromise myself or the truth.  It has given me my sense of self back.  And the truth is I sorta dig on who I am.

And so begins the phase of life wherein self compromise is over, and self love begins.  And, ironically, I'm actually feeling pretty good about this Valentine's Day.  Because it's an opportunity for me to show love to someone who really deserves it.  Me.  


Does this mean that I won't end up in a puddle of my own tears this Valentine's Day?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  I am grieving.  And that shit hits whenever it wants.  But I am definitely walking confidently in the direction of... well... not exactly my dreams because those all got flushed down the toilet with the marriage... but I'm walking confidently.  I'm walking.  I'm putting one foot in front of the other.  

And the dreams?  The new ones?  The ones wherein I'm actually loving myself and truly happy?  They'll come.

For now, I'll be doing this little exercise this Valentine's Day.  An exercise in self love.  Whether you're in a happy relationship, or hoping to find one some day, Self Love is something we should all practice in each moment.  

Happy Self Love Day Y'all!




2017 | Life is Funny

This year has been a trip.  

The never ending loop of learning hard lessons has continued.  There's been some great highs for which I am very grateful and in general, things with business were fun and filled with amazing people.  I took this year to get really clear on who I am and what I want for my business and I'm thrilled to say that I'm happier than ever in my work and am achieving what I've deemed success for myself.  

But there have also been some great lows in my personal life.  There's been grief, there's been struggle, there's been death.  And there's been crazy.  Was 2017 the year of the nut-job?  Is that a part of the zodiac?  Cause DAMN.  Crazy was just coming out of the woodwork this year...

But one thing that has remained constant through it all; LAUGHTER.  And for that I am so incredibly grateful.  For anyone and everyone I've shared a chuckle with this year, know that you are why I keep on going.  Your laughter and lightheartedness with me, both in times of fun, and ESPECIALLY in those times where it might not have been deemed appropriate, but where it was needed most, are such a gift.  Those are the memories that stick.  

So thanks 2017, for everything you sent my way.  The good, the bad and the orange.  And though 2018 seems as though it has the potential to be... well... even weirder... just remember to keep your sense of humor.  Because I can tell you there's really not much better than sitting down to review your year, thinking it will stress you out and result in some deep, profound realizations about life and the cosmos, and just ending up with a big, old, stupid grin on your face...

 Cheers 2017!  


Why I'm Mad At The Find Lab

The Find Lab is who develops and scans all of my film.  Before I get into why I'm mad at them, it's only fair that I cover three things that they do really well.  


Firstly, they provide amazing scans at the best price.  I hear so many stories of photographers struggling with their film scans to get them right, and yet I get scans from The Find Lab, every time, that I smile ear to ear from and often just save in a folder and send right to the client.  I use their basic scans, which are best priced in the business, and rarely have to touch them.  Do you know what this means?  This means I HAVE MY LIFE BACK!!  No more editing.  Any photographer out there who's currently drowning in that heavy feeling of having sessions to edit... SHOOT FILM and USE THE FIND LAB.  No more heavy feeling with things to edit. (cue Trish in heavenly shaft of light with angelic chorus)


Secondly, they provide amazing service.  There've been a couple of annoying situations that have resulted from mailing times, etc. and they have handled each of those situations in a totally reasonable and professional way.


Thirdly.  SUPPORT Y'ALL.  They have shared my work on several occasions on their social media platforms and their blog.  When a group of uber talented photographers recognizes your work, THAT is an amazing feeling.  And it happened again today.  Check out their blog where one of my images was selected as a December Favorite.  They also have the best prices on film (no lie... I spent an entire afternoon analyzing film prices from everywhere from eBay to Amazon, from B&H to Adorama Photo.  Their prices are the lowest.)  And their blog is full of informative and educational posts supporting film photographers covering things from how to expose color film, black and white film suggestions, pushing film, and more.


So why am I mad?  Because they're not on Maui.  Because I have to ship my film to them.  So I went straight to my phone and texted the owner and said "I need you to open a satellite lab on Maui."  To which the owner responded kindly and intelligently with a large list of solid business reasons why the lab is where it is.   To which I stomped my foot like the self important tantrum throwing toddler I can sometimes be.  Until I realized that, ya, that makes perfect sense.  These guys really know what they're doing.  I am so bloody thankful for them.

So I guess I'm not really mad at them at all.  But I bet that headline is why you decided to read this blog post.  Gotcha!

If you're a photographer: SHOOT FILM.  USE FIND LAB.  THE END.

The Mistake I Made When Planning My Wedding

Did I ever tell you about the time that I booked my wedding venue for my mid June wedding based on the presence of an AMAZING wisteria tree that draped the entire front of the venue,  only to find out, on my wedding day, that wisteria blooms in early May on the east coast?  

DERP.  No wisteria for me.  

So don't make the same mistake I did when planning my wedding.  If you're making choices based on landscape, gardens or flowers... do find out when they bloom.  Same goes for the flowers in your bouquets/centerpieces... because if you choose something out of season... you're going to pay for it (and weddings are expensive enough as it is).

But there is a sweet, silvery-purple lining to this mistake.  My sweet, dear husband, 14 years later, surprised me and bought me my very own wisteria tree... and this... this is it's first bloom.

Yup.  He's a keeper.

These, and other floral prints, available in my Wall Art and Decor Print Shop.

Maui Wedding Flower Inspiration

I've done quite a few shoots recently featuring Wildheart Flowers gorgeous dahlia's and so when I found out she lives in my neck of the woods... I kinda sorta begged her to let me come and hang out in her flowers.  

Her garden is amazing and she made some bouquets for what turned out to be a very soggy maui wedding photo shoot I did last week and they were GORGEOUS.  So if you love dahlias, and are looking for some maui wedding flower inspiration... feast your eyes...


If you're interested in any of these images as prints, check out my online store where you can choose your print, frame it and then see how it will look on your wall.

Maui Sunflowers

I'll let you in on a little known fact... there's a field of sunflowers on Maui.  Shhh... it's a secret.

No it's not.  In fact, it only took about 20 minutes on the "coconut wireless" for it to become the new hotspot on the island.  Every time I've driven by there, the field is PACKED with people and photographers.  Can't say I blame them.  It is a sight to behold, and on a tiny island where things don't change much, the new scenery is welcomed.  Thanks to Pacific Biodiesel, there's now a lovely, sustainable crop that not only serves a purpose, but brings much beauty.

So to all the a-holes I'm hearing about walking away with arms full of cut flowers...  stop that shit.  It's theft... and it's SUPER LAME.  Don't take what isn't yours and don't ruin it for everyone else.  Leave the flowers for EVERYONE to enjoy.  

Like this girl.  Who looks right at home amongst the flowers chuckin' them deuces.  Cause sometimes you just gotta raise that middle finger, and then say peace out to the shit in your life that doesn't work.  

Desiree, I'm so inspired by you.  Thanks for playing with me in the flowers and reminding me what strength with grace looks like.

Maui Sunflower Photos

Maui Photo Circle | Perspective

I'm late with this project post.  Because I didn't like this theme either.  HA!  There seems to be an underlying recurring theme to all these monthly themes.  It's the "Trish being a big fat baby about this project that she started" theme.

I suppose it makes perfect sense that I'm struggling as much as I am with this project (for those just tuning in, it's a project I do with other photographers where every month we shoot in a particular theme and then post, sharing our interpretation of that theme).  I mean, the whole reason I started this was because I needed to be held accountable in order to push myself to do these things.  So I guess this is just proof that this project was exactly what I needed.

So this months theme was "Perspective".  And what I did at the beginning of the month was looked up the definition of perspective as it pertains to photography.  That was my first mistake.  Because then I stopped myself from shooting saying things to myself like "that doesn't fit the definition".  Ugh.  Nothing like stopping yourself from doing something you love.

So, then I remembered that the whole reason why I love photography is because each person has their own unique "perspective", which means that I can have my own perspective on "perspective" and that was kinda the point.

Does anyone else drive themselves nuts the same way I do?  I swear... my mind is my biggest enemy sometimes-all-the-time.

Anywho, I decided to remove the definition from it and just shoot.  And here's what I learned about myself.

1.  Big. Fat. Baby.

2. I like the "perspective" of getting in close; of looking deeper.  And this is very much in line with my personality, so I guess it makes sense.  Things are never what they seem on the surface, and there's nothing that shows that truth more than macro photography.  I remember I saw this moth once, and it look SO FREAKING BAD ASS and stealth... and so I grabbed my camera and macro lens and when I saw it through that lens, it looked like a total dork.  It's eyes were super big and kind of cock-eyed, and I remember laughing really hard at that first peak.  Very deceiving appearances are...  

3. I LOVE when a photo ends up being totally obscure, so that it's hard to figure out what it is, or even, can fool the eye into thinking it's something else.  I remember, when I was a kid, I used to read the magazine Highlights... or was it The Weekly Reader... I don't know... but it had photos at the back that were either shot macro or taken in a weird way that made it obscure enough that you had to try and guess what it was.  I LOVED those things.  And so if "obscure" is a "perspective", then I think I like that one too.

4.  I also learned that I use air quotes and ellipses WAY too much...

So here's my interpretation of "perspective" in photography.  To see how others interpreted this theme, click this link.

Also, in my interwebtubernet travels to find cool examples of "perspective" I came across this artist, who's mind works in such an amazing way that I am constantly blown away by what he creates.  Check him out... you won't be disappointed.

Perspective - Maui Photographer

Iphone 7+ - Steamboat Springs, CO

Iphone 7+ - Steamboat Springs, CO

iPhone 7+ - I stuck the phone in the snow.  (yes, it can go underwater AND under snow)

iPhone 7+ - I stuck the phone in the snow.  (yes, it can go underwater AND under snow)

Nikon F5 + Portra 160 + The Find Lab - I feel like a dork even posting this one because the depth of field totally ruins the affect... me and my love of bokeh... 

Nikon F5 + Portra 160 + The Find Lab - I feel like a dork even posting this one because the depth of field totally ruins the affect... me and my love of bokeh... 

Iphone 7+ - Sunrise?  Sunset?  Actually, this is my kitchen faucet in my kitchen sink, shot in macro, and turned 90 degrees counter clockwise.  The "water" is the running faucet and the "sun" is bokeh, probably reflecting from gross food on a dish waiting to be washed.

Iphone 7+ - Sunrise?  Sunset?  Actually, this is my kitchen faucet in my kitchen sink, shot in macro, and turned 90 degrees counter clockwise.  The "water" is the running faucet and the "sun" is bokeh, probably reflecting from gross food on a dish waiting to be washed.

Iphone 7+ - this is my son's eyeball.  I am now, officially, obsessed with eyeballs.  

Iphone 7+ - this is my son's eyeball.  I am now, officially, obsessed with eyeballs.  

I don't just shoot eyeballs and random things with my iPhone.  I mainly shoot weddings and families with legit cameras.  Check out my website... if you dare...

30% Off All Horse Photography Prints to Help Happy Dog Ranch Foundation

In my recent travels, I was lucky enough to spend the day at Happy Dog Ranch in Littleton, Colorado.  It was one of my favorite parts of our trip.  It's a really unique place, in that it combines horse rescue with... well... people rescue.   Horse therapy has had tremendously positive impacts on so many lives, and I just love the fact that this works both ways.  Human's save horses, horses save humans.  Win/Win.

They are a non-profit organization, and recently lost their largest benefactor.  They are in IMMEDIATE need.  And I have what I hope is a win/win situation to help this win/win situation.

Beautiful horse photography prints are now available in my store, and 50% of all sales will go directly to Happy Dog Ranch Foundation.  

Until March 5, 2017, get 30% off all prints from my Happy Dog Ranch collection, with 50% of all sales going directly to Happy Dog Ranch.

Coupon code: HAPPYDOG

If you love horses, or alpacas, or pigs, or ducks, or cats, or just like to help others (or all of the above), check out my gallery of available horse photos, alpaca photos and pig photos and purchase to get beautiful prints for you, and help Happy Dog Ranch Foundation continue its amazing work.  

My favorite is when you get and give at the same time.  Now you can get, and give, so the giving can keep on.  Thanks for your help!

Maui Photo Circle | Repetition

Alright.  So I've got this group of photographers and every month we choose a theme at random and then shoot photos in that theme and share at the end of the month.  I started this group because I wanted a challenge and to force myself to see things differently.  

Last month's theme was shadows, and I found it really fun.  This months theme was repetition... and I freaking hated it. So much so, that I didn't really shoot anything (maybe like 2 film shots intentionally for the theme) and even was thinking about changing the theme to something I liked better halfway through the month.  But, um, that kind of defeats the purpose.  I'm not always going to like it... the point is to challenge myself to do it anyways.  So yesterday rolled around and I was like... crap... 

So I went in my backyard, with my iPhone, and stood there for like 5 minutes telling myself to just stuff it and find something in my archives to share.  I am REALLY good at avoiding doing things I don't want to do.  And I know this about myself... which is why I started this group... which is why I then forced myself to stop being a baby and take some photos.

I can't say that I really love anything that I shot, and it seems I've posted mostly ones where my interpretation of "repetition" doesn't follow in the traditional sense.  The traditionally repetitive, pattern making shots I find incredibly boring (though I am WELL impressed with the iPhone 7+).  But this project isn't necessarily about the resulting photos.  It's about the process, and what I can learn and how I can grow.  And what I've learned is the next time "repetition" is chosen by the randomizer... I'm freaking changing it before anyone knows.  ;)

To see how others in this group interpreted this theme, follow this link!

iPhone 7+.  Edited with  Filmborn .

iPhone 7+.  Edited with Filmborn.

iPhone 7+.  Edited with  Filmborn .

iPhone 7+.  Edited with Filmborn.

Nikon F5 + Portra 160 +  The Find Lab

Nikon F5 + Portra 160 + The Find Lab

Contax 645 + Fuji 400h +  The Find Lab

Contax 645 + Fuji 400h + The Find Lab

Nikon D4

Nikon D4

I don't just shoot random things.  I shoot mostly families and weddings.  Interested in booking a session?  Contact me today!



Maui Photo Circle - SHADOWS

Last year was a rough one for me.  I mean I learned a lot and nurtured my newfound love of film and still had my insanely good luck connecting with amazing clients.  But I was internally... um... strifed?  Is that a word?  Strifey?  Filled with strife?

I just felt unfulfilled on a weird level.  Like... lost.  I felt... well... VANILLA.  Which is NOT a good feeling when you're a creative for a living and you, in your core, are super NOT vanilla, but started feeling like to be successful, you had to be vanilla.  

I was so conflicted by this, that I actually decided to quit photography.  Yup... just two weeks ago I was like... okay... there's no sense in taking something that you love so much and abusing yourself with it.  This isn't worth it.  Just stop.  Finish the shoots that you have, and then be ready for whatever is next.  

I totally gave up.

And do you know what?  That was THE BEST THING I COULD HAVE EVER DONE for myself!  I gave up on trying so hard.  On trying to be something that I wasn't.  And IMMEDIATELY, I found that fire again.  That thing that makes me inimitably me.  I don't even know what it is.  But it was gone, and now it's back and one thing is for sure... this year... I am going to be a force to be reckoned with.  

One of the things that I knew I had to get back into was playing.  That's one of my favorite things about photography.  Trying new things, learning... feeling like a beginner again.  So I gathered a bunch of photographers that I know and we're working on a monthly project.  Each month has a theme.  Each month you play and shoot in that theme and see what happens.

So January's theme is SHADOWS.  And it's actually kind of poignant... because it's what I was battling internally all last year.  And do you know, when I was dropping off my rolls of film with all of my shadow photos on them, the guy in front of me in line turned around, looked me dead in my face and was like "You have a shadow."

When I was done having my "wtf was that" moment, I realized that was kinda cool.  Cause ya, I do.  We all do.  And as much as it can suck super hard, it is also responsible for most of our growth.

So here's to embracing our shadows.  And to see other photos from this project, check out Barb Toyama's shadow post.


Iphone 6s, edited to black and white in  Snapseed .

Iphone 6s, edited to black and white in Snapseed.

Iphone 6s, edited with  Filmborn

Iphone 6s, edited with Filmborn

Nikon F5 - Portra 160 (converted to black and white) - The Find Lab

Nikon F5 - Portra 160 (converted to black and white) - The Find Lab

Nikon F5 - Portra 160 (converted to black and white) -  The Find Lab

Nikon F5 - Portra 160 (converted to black and white) - The Find Lab

Nikon F5 - Portra 160 (converted to black and white) -  The Find Lab

Nikon F5 - Portra 160 (converted to black and white) - The Find Lab

Water Is Life

I do have an obsession with water.  I live by the ocean and my kids swim competitively so I find myself staring at the surface of it... frequently.  I'm fascinated by it.

I'm also pretty darn dependent on it.  

My online print store now features my    W A T E R    I S    L I F E    series.  Black and white film and digital shots that I've taken in my personal work, featuring water.

Enter coupon code NODAPL to receive 20% off your purchase with all proceeds going to Standing Rock.  


Click here to view the full series.