Backwards

I’ve always done things a bit backwards. I had the kid and the job before I had the house and the marriage. I signed my first lease for an apartment before I had the $ to pay for it. Sensible people analyze and then act. I act and then (over) analyze. And this bleeds into everything that I do.

As most sensible photographers are keeping up on the newest gear and gadgets, I’m cruising Ebay for used film cameras and dying film stocks. It does not make sense. But it feeds something in me that I’ve had ever since I was a small child.

I used to think that I was perpetually discontent. But I’m realizing that contentedness is in the process, not the end result. Which is why, once I hit a result, I feel empty and jump back into process… ass first.

So if you see me, and I’m doing things that don’t make sense, like shooting with old, temperamental film cameras, through flowers, into the light. Or taking huge leaps of faith after having my faith shattered repeatedly. Don’t worry. Seems I am destined to find beauty along the way.

black and white bride photo