Once upon a time, in a land not that far away, in a time not that long ago (but because things have changed SO MUCH from then til now, it feels like it was ages ago) there was a girl who was pretty bad ass, but she didn't feel bad ass. In fact, not only was she not able to own her badassery, she would frequently efface herself. Like, all the time. She made herself small. She verbally discounted herself. She basically denied who she was, insulted who she was, and ended up a shell of a human being.
But what's worse than that, is that girl had 3 kids. 3 kids who watched her shrink, watched her compromise herself and listened on as she would berate herself for the smallest of mistakes. 3 kids who assumed that was what they were supposed to do because the person who loved them the most, was teaching them that. Not through how she treated them, but through how she treated herself.
I know. Sad story. Also, true story. Also, common story. But this IS actually one of those stories that has a really happy... well... not ending because this girl FOR SURE is not at the end of her story. It has a happy re-beginning.
One day that girl woke up. And let me tell you, it took a HELL of a wake up call to get her to snap out of it. But she did wake up. And she started noticing these patterns in her kids. She started noticing how these little people who were amazing beyond words, were not understanding how amazing they were. They weren't loving themselves or treating themselves with kindness. And then she realized how she was doing the same. And so she decided that it was time for that to stop.
So, as a family, they started FIVE NICE THINGS. Anytime anyone would say something unkind to themselves or about themselves, they'd have to immediately say FIVE NICE THINGS about themselves to counter it. And no one wanted to do it in the beginning. It was hard. It was annoying. It was sometimes hard to find nice things to say.
But as each day passed, it got easier and easier. It actually became a game, of who noticed first and who called who out on being unkind to themselves. And if someone was struggling to come up with a NICE THING to say about themselves, the others would chime in with FIVE NICE THINGS about that person to help them get going. And if they found that they were arguing with each other, they'd stop and say FIVE NICE THINGS about each other.
And, do you know, it actually worked?! And it worked really quickly. They all started noticing that they were calling each other out on it less and less. Because unkindness was happening less and less. And they each found themselves feeling better in general. And they found themselves able to notice and appreciate when they'd done something good. And they found themselves wanting to say good things to themselves and to each other more and more. And they found that when they heard someone outside of their house say something unkind about themselves, they would say " Okay, you need to say FIVE NICE THINGS about yourself right now. It's important". And they found that there was more and more good to notice all around them.
Now, anytime anyone slips, which is actually quite rare, all that girl has to do is hold up her hand with all five fingers splayed out, and they know what they need to do.
I am that girl. I am a fucking bad ass. I am an amazing mom. And my kids are the most amazing humans I've ever met. And now they can see that for themselves. And that is the best fucking gift I could have ever received/given.
The smallest things in life are what have the BIGGEST impact. Shifting small patterns makes HUGE ripples of change within and around you. Try this on. I swear, it will change your life, and the lives of those you love.